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 SasuNaru, OC Insertion: Alive

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PostSubject: SasuNaru, OC Insertion: Alive   Mon Jul 13, 2009 2:09 pm

Naruto lives at home with his older sister, who goes by the name Chikyo. Still in high school, he deals with the every day pressures of teasing, getting pranked by friends, and that teme, Sasuke Uchiha. Meanwhile, he doesn't know the turmoil Chikyo faces, she being a high school dropout. Still, she supports Naruto in everything he does and hopes he accomplishes his dreams one day.

Alright! So I just started this fanfic, tell me what you think. I'll post Chapter 1 when I feel like it! Actually... I'll post it when it's ready. *sweatdrops*

Here's a little legend to help you:

Italics: Thoughts
Bold: Chapter Dividers/Titles
Bold/Italic/Underlined: Author's notes (usually begin with an 'A/N:' at the beginning)

Enjoy reading!
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PostSubject: Re: SasuNaru, OC Insertion: Alive   Mon Jul 13, 2009 2:50 pm

Chapter 1: Yura Yura
Beta'd by: 禁断の愛

It was a school night, and the students of Konoha High had just gotten dismissed. The sun was shining brightly outside the windows, bursting in through them like spectacles of dancing light, aiming right into the lap of Naruto Uzumaki, who was currently looking at the book resting on the makeshift stand made by his legs. He looked back and forth between his notebook and his book, trying to decipher exactly what that word meant. He needed to study for his upcoming history test if he was ever going to pas--

"Hey, Naruto, guess what?!"

Naruto looked up from the couch in the living room where he was scribbling notes for the test in his notebook as his blonde-haired, blue eyed sister bounded into the room holding a composition notebook of her own and smiling brightly at her little brother. Her hair was put up in two pigtails emerging from the top of her head. She was wearing a turquoise shirt with a purple skirt and knee high socks, with beads winding around her neck.

"What is it, Chikyo-onesan?" Naruto asked her, and she smiled, closing her eyes, the scratch marks on her tan cheeks moving up and down. She shared many of the same physical traits as her brother.

"The taste sensors on a catfish cover it's entire body!" she said, obviously fascinated. She held her arms out wide and continued to smile widely. "Isn't that exciting? Imagine being able to taste anything you touched!"

Naruto smiled at his older sister. "That'd be funny, actually. Especially if I was washing my hair."

Chikyo laughed. "Yeah, that'd be nasty!" She then looked at Naruto's spiral notebook in his hands and the history book on his lap. Her eyes widened and her smile curved downward. "Oh, you're taking notes! Sorry, why didn't you say anything?"

Naruto smiled, rubbing the back of his head in his normal fashion. "I don't know, I guess I needed a break."

Chikyo's expression changed from serious to smiley again. "Oh, I'm glad I could help. Speaking of help, what do you want for dinner tonight? I'm going to make brain-food to help you with your test, but I need to know what kind."

Naruto placed his hand on his chin and thought. He then smiled. "Ramen?"

Chikyo sighed, but she was still smiling. "Fine. But I'm putting vegetables in it!" With that, she ran to the kitchen, sliding on her socks across the linoleum and nearly falling as she slid into the kitchen. Naruto laughed to himself at her display.

Naruto loved this house; no matter where Chikyo was, he could hear her, and he could see her in the dining room sliding to the kitchen from where he sat in the living room. Behind the dining room was her office, and next to the dining room was the hallway to their rooms and the bathroom.

"Naruto!" Chikyo yelled, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah?" he asked. He heard pots clattering before she replied.

"We need some celery for the ramen," she said, and he sighed. "Can you pick some up, please?"

"Sure," he yelled. He closed his notebook into the history book, deciding he'd finish later. He walked to the front door and slid on his shoes, hearing Chikyo approach from behind. He turned and she smiled at him, handing him a twenty.

"Get me as much as this'll pay for," she said, and he looked at her incredulously.

"Do I need this much celery for a test?" he asked.

"No, but I like it with peanut butter!" she said, and he smiled at her.

"I'll be back soon," he said, and she gave him a smile before running back into the kitchen.

"Make it quick, I'm already boiling the water!" she yelled, and he closed the door behind him as he walked out.

Stepping down the walkway and onto the sidewalk, he looked down at his shoes as he trotted down the street. At that particular moment in time, with the blue sky above him and the green grass below, with the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the wind, he didn't want to be anywhere else but here in Konoha.

He walked into the store, smiling as he jogged his way to the vegetables. He looked around quickly, spotting the celery. If celery is about 3 dollars each, then I could at least afford 6 of these...

Pulling out a bag from the nearby dispenser, he pulled out six and put them into the bag. He then raced to the counter and put them down and handed the man working there the twenty.

"Hello, Naruto," the cashier said. "This isn't your normal miso ramen." He picked the celery up. "Looks more like vegetables."

"I have a test tomorrow and Chikyo's making me brain food," he said, and the cashier nodded.

"Where has she been, anyway? She's been sending you out for all her errands--"

"I don't mind it," Naruto replied, picking up the celery and saying a hurried goodbye, explaining that the water was boiling and Chikyo would be mad if he came home late, and then he ran off.

Getting out the front door, he quickly ran up the street, taking a sharp right--

And colliding with somebody.

Naruto flew backwards, hitting the ground quickly on his back. Luckily, he'd rescued the celery from impact, he'd pulled it into his stomach. Looking up, he growled when he noticed who it was.

"Watch where you're going, teme," Naruto said. "You nearly broke the damned celery."

Sasuke smirked. "Celery? Are you trying to lose weight, baka?"

Naruto grit his teeth. Sasuke was still in his school uniform. "At least I'm not in some stupid club, like you are. What was it today, teme; chess or the 'worship me' club?"

Sasuke scowled. He stalked past Naruto, who quickly got up and, while mentally celebrating his victory, ran to his house. He sprinted into the door, opening it quickly and bursting inside, somersaulting and then ending up on his feet. He looked at Chikyo who was in the kitchen, smiling at him.

"How was that? Did I make it?" he asked.

"Just hand me the celery," she said, and he handed it to her, going back to shut the door.

A/N: Bad first chapter, but it kind of (sorta) set the scene in Naruto's life: On what grounds he was at with Sasuke, Chikyo, and members of the neighborhood. I felt this chapter was absolutely necessary in order for the story to progress so people didn't WTF me. Please tell me how it was. Beta'd by 禁断の愛, your Admin! (and will stay your admin... or I'll eat you. Twisted Evil )

B/N: I think we can all agree I did an okay job at betaing this fanfic. It's an honor to work for you, Yura Yura.
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PostSubject: Re: SasuNaru, OC Insertion: Alive   Mon Jul 13, 2009 2:57 pm

YAY!!! Fanfictions!
Post more!

...Here's more mature commentation.. Heheh...

Alright, so I love the fact that Naruto's not alone and emo in this one. I'm not against emos, but usually people make out the happy-never-give-up persona of Naruto to be emotastic. That's the exact opposite.

You stayed very in character with this. And Chikyo sounds related to Naruto by the way she acts and looks.

Say, did you base her off of Naruko?

When you laugh, I will laugh. When you cry, I will cry. When you jump out of a window... I will laugh.
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PostSubject: Re: SasuNaru, OC Insertion: Alive   Mon Jul 13, 2009 3:03 pm

禁断の愛 wrote:
Say, did you base her off of Naruko?

Actually, I did. I hope you don't mind. tongue
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